The immense value of singleness

Singleness doesn’t often get talked up in churches. There is a lot of focus on families, on Biblical teaching on marriage, on ministries aimed at covenant children, and on pre-marriage counselling. If you are unmarried in the church, you can sometimes feel that you are a second-class citizen of some type.

Add to that the pressure from families to get married, the cultural expectations that a full life includes finding that ‘special someone’, and the reality that many of the same age group are married, and that’s enough to make anyone unhappy with their lot.

Except, of course, God doesn’t see single people that way.

No, the Bible speaks most highly of singleness. Jesus was single (despite the claims of Dan Brown). Paul was single. And in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul explains that singleness is to be valued, even more highly than marriage depending on the perspective. To be single means that you can be devoted to God in an undivided way, not having to divide your time and energy between a spouse and the Lord. I have seen this play out in practice so often in church. Single people can serve consistently in various ministries, while often married people need to stay home due to family issues. Committed single Christians too often drop their involvement in church way down if they get married. Paul has a good point.

Paul also says that married people will have “worldly troubles” (1 Cor 7:28). Marriage often looks idyllic to single people; it looks like marriage will fix all their problems! The experience of married people is that some problems are helped, and other ones are created. Two sinful people living together doesn’t always mean handholding on the beach; it can also mean shouting in the kitchen. The single life is simpler in that sense.

Of course, singleness has its problems too, like any state in this fallen world does. Loneliness can be a problem, as well as sexual temptation. Children are intended to be born in a married context. But it is here that the local church can be a great help to single people. Church can provide friendship that helps with loneliness, and true fellowship at church is really important for single people. Those who are married can serve singles well by including them in things, having them over for meals, and not restricting their friendship to those in the same life situation as themselves.

Here’s the big message: if you are a single Christian, you are worth a massive amount to God. You will not be worth more to God if you are married. A spouse will not complete you. It is not wrong to pursue marriage, but don’t turn marriage into some idol you think you need.

We need to value singleness, and not try to ‘fix’ it. Paul clearly explains that singleness has immense value; we need to see it that way as well.